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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “highly unrealistic”, he explains. You’re riding high and you think, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are usually coming after a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels overwhelmed and ashamed about his conduct, leaving him particularly vulnerable to criticism from those around him. He began to think he might have this personality condition after looking up his traits on the internet – and was later confirmed by a specialist. But, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis without having already reached that realization personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they feel beliefs of dominance. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, it’s not always clear what the term implies the label. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he believes many people hide it, as there is significant negative perception associated with the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like displaying material goods,” the expert clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

While three-quarters of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are males, research suggests this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is more often presented in the less obvious variety, which is often overlooked. Male narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, similar to everything in society,” notes a 23-year-old who discusses her co-occurring conditions on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and rejection,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I either go into a defensive state or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this response – which is sometimes referred to as “self-esteem damage”, she has been trying to overcome it and accept input from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the damaging patterns of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her partner “have a dynamic where we’ve agreed, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures during development. I’ve had to teach myself over the years the difference between and is not appropriate to say in conflicts because I lacked that guidance as a kid,” she comments. “Nothing was off-limits when my household were insulting me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be associated with difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

Like several of the NPD-diagnosed people, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “worthy.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships were successful. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the internal struggles in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, he was directed to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was told his diagnosis. He has been put forward for talking therapy through national services (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for 18 months: “They said it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his condition, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is beneficial,” he explains. Each individual have accepted their narcissism and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of individuals sharing their stories and the expansion of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number